by Max Barry

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Dixie World Census

The Fattest Citizens in Dixie

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Dixie is ranked 1,121st in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Confederacy of The Secessionist States of AmericanaCompulsory Consumerist State“We are no longer rebels, but Southerners.”
2.The Confederate State of Dixie FloridaLeft-Leaning College State“Soles et Citrus Aurantium”
3.The Confederacy of The Free Dixie StatesCapitalist Paradise“Heritage Not Hate”
4.The Confederacy of 21st century DixieCapitalist Paradise“Deo vindice”
5.The Commonwealth of United SameniaCapitalist Paradise“Island without an ocean”
6.The United Confederacies of Confederate-AmuricaCompulsory Consumerist State“Deo Vindice”
7.The Free Land of Ozark HighlandsCapitalist Paradise“Live Free or Die!”
8.The Confederacy of Hartist ScotlandInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Nemo me impune lacessit”
9.The Republic of SelhorysLeft-Leaning College State“God Makes Right”
10.The Rogue Nation of Confederation of American-StatesNew York Times Democracy“God Save the south”