by Max Barry

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being a female furry on the internet is weird, keep getting weirdos asking for pics of my feet and sh*t

Brocklandia and Tercania islands

Songs you dont understand

Brocklandia wrote:I suggest a team of copyright lawyers, and fifteen high-yield nuclear bombs. Which of those do you use first? Doesn't really matter.

I order Tsar Bomba

Songs you dont understand wrote:I order Tsar Bomba

As long as it's capable of decimating an entire section of the countryside with radioactive fallout, you can drop whatever kind of Bomba you want out of the plane.

Tercania islands and Songs you dont understand

Arcticfoxxo wrote:being a female furry on the internet is weird, keep getting weirdos asking for pics of my feet and sh*t

I think Rule 34 would suggest the requesters are in fact not weirdos but instead are the statistical majority of the online population. Just tell them your fursona is a three-legged warthog with mange, ticks, and grass-breath.* I'm betting the requests will disappear.

* Hey, I actually looked up what warthogs eat. Ain't you impressed? But now I'm curious--are they asking for pics of your sh!t before, during, or after the flush? Some people have very specific fetish points.

Tercania islands

somebody said H.R and i got scared...
but hey I'm back now

just gotta make sure congress is'nt in accounting looking through my taxes

YouTube Inc wrote:somebody said H.R and i got scared...
but hey I'm back now

I'm pretty sure you didn't really visit the H.R. department. H.R. here at the Bar is TheOrc, and his response to any complaint is just to eat the complainer. You don't seem to have been gnawed on or exposed to digestive acids, so ...

YouTube Inc wrote:just gotta make sure congress is'nt in accounting looking through my taxes

Congress and the legislative branch have no interest in your taxes. The Internal Revenue Service is part of the executive branch instead.

Tercania islands

Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:Hey, I actually looked up what warthogs eat. Ain't you impressed?

Dramatic gasp!
He's put effort into something! Celebration!

Tercania islands wrote:Dramatic gasp!
He's put effort into something! Celebration!

What? I checked Wikipedia, searched for "warthog," had a ten-second debate with the search engine about whether the name is "wart hog" versus "warthog" (learned it's "warthog"), saw "grass" in one of the first paragraphs that came up, and ran with it. Total investment: less than one minute. I'm pretty sure performing one minute of effort does not invalidate my long and successful trend of avoiding such.

Yes, I spent more time writing this post than I spent looking up what warthogs eat.

Jehovahs witness and Tercania islands

YouTube Inc wrote:somebody said H.R and i got scared...
but hey I'm back now

just gotta make sure congress is'nt in accounting looking through my taxes

Don't have to worry aboot that, Canada doesn't have congress.

And we don't pay taxes, either, eh. Or at least I don't...

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:Don't have to worry aboot that, Canada doesn't have congress.
And we don't pay taxes, either, eh. Or at least I don't...

Which explains how you've managed to avoid getting sucked into a political wind tunnel over the last two hundred years.

Now, don't get me wrong. Now that I think of it, putting legislators into a wind tunnel sounds like a great idea. Don't judge--if you had your own wind tunnel, you'd put all kind of crap into it too, wouldn't you? I mean, not ... uhm ... a baby, or large buckets of loose cash, and certainly not mayonnaise--but politicians? Heck, yeah! Dial that force control up to Category 5 hurricane level.

Brocklandia wrote:Which explains how you've managed to avoid getting sucked into a political wind tunnel over the last two hundred years.

Now, don't get me wrong. Now that I think of it, putting legislators into a wind tunnel sounds like a great idea. Don't judge--if you had your own wind tunnel, you'd put all kind of crap into it too, wouldn't you? I mean, not ... uhm ... a baby, or large buckets of loose cash, and certainly not mayonnaise--but politicians? Heck, yeah! Dial that force control up to Category 5 hurricane level.

What's this hurricane thing you speak of? Is that like those big stormy thingies that hit the coastlines down south? Like a Nor'easter?

Sonnet 1

The tears poured prelude to an infernal howl
while nails beat down the heavy coffin lid,
she to be lowered and forever more hid
Their eyes were dry nearby with faces fowl.

Dead, in a white gown and very real black cowl
Shocked. Recalling what her pretty lips once did
Now they're gone. The lips I'd kissed as a kid.
Her body is the reason owls hoot or tigers growl.

Just to be rotten soon by deathly blight!?
(Realizing a gulch smell or burning fields)
She must truly believed I'd never come back

No more to share in her afternoon delight
nor shall she find my arms to be shields,
lest she fell victim to her own lethal attack.

#sonnet

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:What's this hurricane thing you speak of? Is that like those big stormy thingies that hit the coastlines down south? Like a Nor'easter?

It's like a Nor'easter with less snow, more rain, more wind, more destruction, and a better name. Kind of like your last ex.

The weekend poetry contest has begun. PR Megaforce will be judging freeform poems.

Songs you dont understand

When you go at work and listen too much A-Pop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYDy6eihFuM

Brocklandia wrote:It's like a Nor'easter with less snow, more rain, more wind, more destruction, and a better name. Kind of like your last ex.

Ha! I've never dated anyone so I don't have any exes!

Maybe I shouldn't have said that one out loud...

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has begun. PR Megaforce will be judging freeform poems.

A poem from up north, entitled "Give Me Second Place Because it's Better than Third, Eh"
Wind blows across the barren snowy wasteland
Waiting, watching, wishing for something
This is the land of Canada
Alive with the whispers of misty winter mornings
Alone in the icy, frozen north
Beautiful, bold, brave
Canada
Eh

Brocklandia, Zombie Penguins, Jehovahs witness, and PR Megaforce

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:Ha! I've never dated anyone so I don't have any exes!
Maybe I shouldn't have said that one out loud...

Have you started collecting cats yet?

Brocklandia wrote:Have you started collecting cats yet?

Hey, you, I would like a Tsar Vodka with a Heart Attack burger.

Balestriania wrote:Hey, you, I would like a Tsar Vodka with a Heart Attack burger.

Here you go, one fermented potato drink product with a vaguely Russian pedigree, and one artery-clogging burger, fresh off the grill. Enjoy!

Brocklandia wrote:Here you go, one fermented potato drink product with a vaguely Russian pedigree, and one artery-clogging burger, fresh off the grill. Enjoy!

Thanks.. Are you sure this is Vodka?

Balestriania wrote:Thanks.. Are you sure this is Vodka?

I'll say ... probably. It's clear, alcoholic, and strong enough that we use it to clean the sink traps. Sounds like vodka to me. Why quibble about details?

Balestriania

The Glorious Nations of Iwaku

Brocklandia wrote:I'll say ... probably. It's clear, alcoholic, and strong enough that we use it to clean the sink traps. Sounds like vodka to me. Why quibble about details?

*DRINK*
Oh, it is vodka. Thanks.
anyways, how will I be able to eat this gigantic burger?

Demonos wrote:Sonnet 1

The tears poured prelude to an infernal howl
while nails beat down the heavy coffin lid,
she to be lowered and forever more hid
Their eyes were dry nearby with faces fowl.

Dead, in a white gown and very real black cowl
Shocked. Recalling what her pretty lips once did
Now they're gone. The lips I'd kissed as a kid.
Her body is the reason owls hoot or tigers growl.

Just to be rotten soon by deathly blight!?
(Realizing a gulch smell or burning fields)
She must truly believed I'd never come back

No more to share in her afternoon delight
nor shall she find my arms to be shields,
lest she fell victim to her own lethal attack.

#sonnet

This is a nice sonnet. Did you wish to submit it for the poetry contest? I believe there are no limits on form, so you may simply repost it to submit.

Demonos and PR Megaforce

An ode to 3rd place

I asked before Brock
In a haiku, not an ode
But give me third place

Brocklandia, Drunkndisorderly, Demonos, Jehovahs witness, and 3 othersTercania islands, PR Megaforce, and Songs you dont understand

Brocklandia wrote:I'll say ... probably. It's clear, alcoholic, and strong enough that we use it to clean the sink traps. Sounds like vodka to me. Why quibble about details?

ah yes but what if it was the sink taps?

we could have infinte vodka! think of the possibilty!
I COULD BE DRUNK ALL THE TIME!!

Duncan the delivery doggo

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