by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,1334,1344,1354,1364,1374,1384,139. . .5,0515,052»

Feline Masters wrote:Tolerance? Lol.
I could watch it for fun.

Yeah, okay, so I screwed up by not remembering that someone feline is likely to be a full-on sadist where dogs are concerned.

Feline Masters and Duncan the delivery doggo

Zombie Penguins wrote:A simple haiku
For Brocklandia to judge
That's not about milk

Appreciated,
'Cause milk is overrated ...
unless catapulted.

Zombie Penguins, Feline Masters, and Duncan the delivery doggo

Brocklandia wrote:Appreciated,
'Cause milk is overrated ...
unless catapulted.

Excuse me but who says that milk is overrated? It's the best drink in the world.

Brocklandia, Zany Zanes, and Duncan the delivery doggo

Duncan the delivery doggo

Brocklandia wrote:Do you and Feline Masters need to get service humans to assist you? Or maybe we could add that to Duncan the delivery doggo's duties. Foxes, cats, and dogs mix well, right?

Woof woof, woof. Woof bark? Woof bark bark, woof. (Translation) We donīt necessarily need service hoomans. But I guess we could? I'm fine with other animals whether it be cats or whatever. I just like making new friends and delivering food.

Duncan the delivery doggo wrote:Woof woof, woof. Woof bark? Woof bark bark, woof. (Translation) We donīt necessarily need service hoomans. But I guess we could? I'm fine with other animals whether it be cats or whatever. I just like making new friends and delivering food.

Interesting. Have you just been... I dunno... friendly to me?

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

Duncan the delivery doggo

Feline Masters wrote:Interesting. Have you just been... I dunno... friendly to me?

Woof woof woof, woof woof. (Translation) I mean. I like making new friends :D

Feline Masters wrote:Excuse me but who says that milk is overrated? It's the best drink in the world.

The world is overrated, too.

Duncan the delivery doggo wrote:Woof woof woof, woof woof. (Translation) I mean. I like making new friends :D

Just don't make your new friends out of your own poo. We'd prefer you stay housebroken ... Or bar-broken, as the case may be.

Duncan the delivery doggo wrote:Woof woof woof, woof woof. (Translation) I mean. I like making new friends :D

Well, uhm, nice to meet you, I guess. (Am I really saying this?)

Just keep your slobber away from me and we should be fine.

Duncan the delivery doggo

Cory and topanga

Brocklandia wrote:The world is overrated, too.

Just don't make your new friends out of your own poo. We'd prefer you stay housebroken ... Or bar-broken, as the case may be.

No, you should make your new friends out of apple juice, like I did! Remember, it was right before the second (or was it third?) flood and the subsequent robot-elf invasion and then the subsequent alien invasion, all of which was definitely not caused by my apple juice.

Cory and topanga wrote:No, you should make your new friends out of apple juice, like I did! Remember, it was right before the second (or was it third?) flood and the subsequent robot-elf invasion and then the subsequent alien invasion, all of which was definitely not caused by my apple juice.

I'm not sure invading armies can be called "friends" when you're the one being invaded.

The weekend poetry contest has ended. Brocklandia will pick the winner.

Cory and topanga

Brocklandia wrote:I'm not sure invading armies can be called "friends" when you're the one being invaded.

True. Though I think all the rules with things like that go out the window when you're using the pre-fab friends mix...

Cory and topanga wrote:True. Though I think all the rules with things like that go out the window when you're using the pre-fab friends mix...

Which I told you not to use. The manufacturer put out a recall last month.

Cory and topanga

Brocklandia wrote:Which I told you not to use. The manufacturer put out a recall last month.

Right, right. But everything turned out alright either way. Plus around here, invasions are so common that no one even notices anymore! It's almost to the point where invasions are more common than projectile vomiting, flooding or spontaneous combustion.

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has ended. Brocklandia will pick the winner.

I ... Oh, hell.

Well, obviously Third Place goes to me, Brocklandia, of course. And if you didn't see that coming, you haven't been paying attention. Hey, I even submitted a poem, so it's a legitimate claim.

Appreciated,
'Cause milk is overrated ...
unless catapulted.

_____

Second Place ... Well, only two poems were submitted and one has already been given Third Place, so Second Place is a tie between the Zombie Penguins collectively and Duncan the delivery doggo because I felt like selecting a random Bar patron, plus hir "Woof woof, woof. Woof bark" was almost poetical. Yay, ZP and Duncan for the for the "almost win"!

Zombie Penguins

A simple haiku
For Brocklandia to judge
That's not about milk
_____

Duncan the Delivery Doggo

Woof woof, woof.
Woof bark.

_____

And this week, First Place goes to ... the two Zombie Penguins on the left, since I'm too lazy to make up another poem so that I can award First Place to myself and too lazy to pick another random Bar customer. So congrats to the two Zombie Penguins on the left for First Place.

It's those two, over there on the left--no, the other left. Yes, those two.

Plus, this'll prevent the other penguins from griping that the contest was "rigged" and the win was "stolen." I mean, honestly, all those complaints to the Bar's H.R. department get really tiresome. So, yay, ZP!

Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, Koedric, and Duncan the delivery doggo

Cory and topanga wrote:Right, right. But everything turned out alright either way. Plus around here, invasions are so common that no one even notices anymore! It's almost to the point where invasions are more common than projectile vomiting, flooding or spontaneous combustion.

Well, I certainly notice when invaders come through. Especially when the invaders don't tip ... Which almost none of them do. Is "how to pillage and plunder without tipping" written up in some manual somewhere? Invasions for Dummies, perhaps?

I do tend to ignore those spontaneous human combustions, through, which is all right since I don't plan to clean up after them anyway.

Anyone got a TG from an account called the Community of Random Acts of Kindness?

Found out they came from this region.
region=random_acts_of_kindness

Wall of text reposted from Rogue CONclave coming up so get ready

I had the Darth Jar Jar theory come up in my head, so now Imma post it here with evidence supporting it:
Jar Jar Binks is actually a Sith lord, with the title of Darth Tyranus, whose role was usurped by Count Dooku due to negative fan reaction.
Think about it.
When he fell from a balcony during an ambush on a droid unit along with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, he hangs from the left side of the balcony, but then two scenes later he falls on the right side. You may attribute this to a filming error, but you'd be wrong: a droid fires on Jar Jar's former position before he falls, and then it turns its head to look at him after he falls. He used the Force to change his position.
He is also a master of the Jedi mind trick: he waves his hand all the way to the Galactic Senate, and then waves his hands all over when ushering in the Galactic Empire. This is the primary reason why "liberty dies - with thunderous applause".
Not only that, but he secretly teaches Anakin to disrespect authority when he's doing that same thing to Qui-Gon.
Moreover, a lot of the things we attribute to dumb luck- somehow he comes in and saves the day- are actually the result of him using his skill and powers to appear clumsy and goofy while also hinting at his true nature as a dark side Force user.
Lastly, he's seen with Chancellor Palpatine after the Galactic Empire is formed.

In short: Jar Jar Binks is the true Darth Tyranus, and Count Dooku was a lazy replacement. In fact, Jar Jar is the main reason why anything happens in the entire Star Wars franchise.

Naval Monte wrote:Anyone got a TG from an account called the Community of Random Acts of Kindness?

Yes, I filed it in the trash with the rest of the Random Acts of Spamness.

WHO CATAPULTED MILK

Koedric wrote:WHO CATAPULTED MILK

Isn't that what milk is for? I mean, how many times have you been strolling down the street, when suddenly you're drenched in milk and you think to yourself, "Heh, somebody's been catapulting milk again." I mean, that happens to me at least once a day ... when I manage to escape these leg shackles and get out of the Bar, I mean.

*The Channel 1 presenter comes back on*
Greetings, viewers! We here at channel 1 would like to say that the locksmith has finally arrived to get the media storage closet open! So we won't be watching these weird and possible haunted tapes any more. Unless we find a really funny one. But I digress, now then we would like to-
*short burst of static*
Uh, wait. Was that a visual glitch? What is-
*static, cuts to a video*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv1URjleF8I
*static, returns to normal programming*
-even does that anymore! Seriously, when was the last time anyone hijacked a tv signal? The 90s?
*off-camera mumbling*
We're back on? Oh um, give me a moment. *clears throat*
Viewers, we just had our TV signal hijacked by an unknown individual or group. Whoever you are, this act is illegal under some kind of law. Not sure which. Even though the police are currently indisposed right now and couldn't care less about some TV hijacking, it is still morally wrong! Probably. Moving on, we now present, uh... Whatever this is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLy-AwdCOmI

Mindon wrote:Seriously, when was the last time anyone hijacked a tv signal? The 90s?[/b]

*Glances at the clock* Mm, I think the last time was an hour ago? I never pay much attention to such things unless they feature nekkid people and a tub of Kool-Whip.

Napkins, anyone?

Notices:

Drink some beer

Cant ignore the notices.

goes behind the bar, grabs a bottle of Harp and drinks it

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