by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,0334,0344,0354,0364,0374,0384,039. . .5,0515,052»

Names are too hard

Brocklandia wrote:Here you go--the Bar's version, a Monopoly-money-rita. It's a specialty version made with pureed Monopoly money, since our cashiers both died recently, and no one else can get into the cash drawer.

I’m giving you two stars on yelp!

Brocklandia wrote:You know we don't care whether you hear or not, right? We drained your account, so you can't afford a lawyer to sue us. Besides, TheOrc tends to eat everyone who tries to sue us ... which probably explains why TheOrc is so fat--er, I mean, well-fed.

I don't have any money in my bank account, it's been frozen since around 3 years ago.

Names are too hard wrote:I’m giving you two stars on yelp!

Yay! That beats our previous rating by two stars!

Mindon wrote:I don't have any money in my bank account, it's been frozen since around 3 years ago.

Who said it was your bank account we drained?

Brocklandia wrote:Who said it was your bank account we drained?

You drained my aide's account?

Brocklandia wrote:Your life and payment for this rather lengthy bar tab, which stretches some 72 meters last time I checked. Pay the cashier on your way out.

Sure!

*leads out a mule hauling a cart loaded with a fifty-gallon drum of candy crush soda*

And for you ...

*leads the mule over after unloading the cart*

One mule from Moscow, as requested. Her name is Ivanka.

THX!

Where are the poems at?
Will this one win by default?
Only time will tell.

Samuel pepys

Zombie Penguins wrote:Where are the poems at?
Will this one win by default?
Only time will tell.

Steps forth from a shadowy corner.
Clears throat, and adopts a recital pose.

Pack the tavern
Give them beer
Plague-ridden pints
Shots of fear
Watch them fall
Gutter sick
Cull the poor
Kill them quick
Parliament
Let nurses down
ClapClapClap
For the clown
Open tavern
Sickly beer
Pour libations
Costs us dear
Lies and shame
Drink or bust
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust.

Wanders over to the bar.

Is there perchance some bawdy serving wench that'll lighten my purse, and lay the weight of a flaggon of strong ale within mine hand?

So I heard talk of the pox spreading once more upon the lands of the Orient, oh well! - What more news blowing forth on ill winds can we expect this year?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/bubonic-plague-inner-mongolia-warning-marmots-a9602611.html

I was awoken at four in the morn
By late celebrations of the country being born
My dog gets a scare
By bombs in the air
And I'm too tired to think of a last rhyme - corn.

My poem

Once upon a daylight dreary
I had nightmares of Scott McCreary
American Idol of days gone by
Wishing I could throw a pie

I wait patiently for AGT
and make a cake, for a contestant you see
and soon no longer is a face
but fondant and cream all over the place

PR Megaforce and Samuel pepys

Brocklandia wrote:Your life and payment for this rather lengthy bar tab, which stretches some 72 meters last time I checked. Pay the cashier on your way out.

Sure!

*leads out a mule hauling a cart loaded with a fifty-gallon drum of candy crush soda*

And for you ...

*leads the mule over after unloading the cart*

One mule from Moscow, as requested. Her name is Ivanka.

gives Brocklandia $25.25 in return

Mindon wrote:You drained my aide's account?

No, but if you'll provide your aide's information, we'll be happy to drain it too.

Local now news wrote:gives Brocklandia $25.25 in return

Oh, squeal! I've been bribed! My very first bribe, and it's for four digits too!

I'm so happy.

And I ain't reporting this on my taxes, either.

Local now news

Brocklandia wrote:No, but if you'll provide your aide's information, we'll be happy to drain it too.

Kinda drained his account already. What account did you drain anyway? I mean, the bank I go to was frozen in ice 5 years ago.

Howard beale

Keep creek deleap the leaps of lager lays low in my tab, please!

Howard beale

Post by Pools suppressed by Zombie Penguins.

╭━━━━╮ This is meme dog. Help
╰┃ ┣▇━▇ meme dog take over nation-states
 ┃ ┃  ╰━▅╮ by pasting
 ╰┳╯ ╰━━┳╯ him in 10 other
  ╰╮ ┳━━╯ regions or he
 ▕▔▋ ╰╮╭━╮ will never be a meme
╱▔╲▋╰━┻┻╮╲╱▔▔▔╲
▏  ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔  O O┃
╲╱▔╲▂▂▂▂╱▔╲▂▂▂╱
 ▏╳▕▇▇▕ ▏╳▕▇▇▕
 ╲▂╱╲▂╱ ╲▂╱╲▂╱

Pools wrote:╭━━━━╮ This is meme dog. Help
╰┃ ┣▇━▇ meme dog take over nation-states
 ┃ ┃  ╰━▅╮ by pasting
 ╰┳╯ ╰━━┳╯ him in 10 other
  ╰╮ ┳━━╯ regions or he
 ▕▔▋ ╰╮╭━╮ will never be a meme
╱▔╲▋╰━┻┻╮╲╱▔▔▔╲
▏  ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔  O O┃
╲╱▔╲▂▂▂▂╱▔╲▂▂▂╱
 ▏╳▕▇▇▕ ▏╳▕▇▇▕
 ╲▂╱╲▂╱ ╲▂╱╲▂╱

Such memes dream deadly doses of original my ass! Copying cretins pollute production, yet freedom frolicks in these areas, as well as mine, so I shan't schtop you.

The weekend poetry contest has ended. PR Megaforce will be picking a winner.

Samuel pepys wrote:Is there perchance some bawdy serving wench that'll lighten my purse, and lay the weight of a flaggon of strong ale within mine hand?

*The penguin brings over a flagon of ale* I don't think we have any serving wenches right now, but if you squint and put a wig on that zombie it could pass as one.

Howard beale and Samuel pepys

*A zombie takes Empire of re-estize out of the bar*

Drunkndisorderly and Howard beale

New poll! How do you feel about living in your NS country? Oh fūck wait. So what's there to consume???

Howard beale

Lightford wrote:New poll! How do you feel about living in your NS country? Oh fūck wait. So what's there to consume???

There's a whole menu of options to choose from. We can also provide a lot of things not listed on the menu. Also your poll is only available to residents of your region.

Alright

Brocklandia wrote:Oh, squeal! I've been bribed! My very first bribe, and it's for four digits too!

I'm so happy.

And I ain't reporting this on my taxes, either.

Drunkndisorderly wrote:My poem

Once upon a daylight dreary
I had nightmares of Scott McCreary
American Idol of days gone by
Wishing I could throw a pie

I wait patiently for AGT
and make a cake, for a contestant you see
and soon no longer is a face
but fondant and cream all over the place

Samuel pepys wrote:Steps forth from a shadowy corner.
Clears throat, and adopts a recital pose.

Pack the tavern
Give them beer
Plague-ridden pints
Shots of fear
Watch them fall
Gutter sick
Cull the poor
Kill them quick
Parliament
Let nurses down
ClapClapClap
For the clown
Open tavern
Sickly beer
Pour libations
Costs us dear
Lies and shame
Drink or bust
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust.

Brocklandia, Zombie Penguins, Pax Nerdvana, and The ambassadorial province of ur

Howard walks out of the main office with a staff name tag on. He slides behind the bar.

Stegatives wrote:Keep creek deleap the leaps of lager lays low in my tab, please!

Sir? What do you mean?

Mindon wrote:Kinda drained his account already. What account did you drain anyway? I mean, the bank I go to was frozen in ice 5 years ago.

Frozen in.... You know what, I’ve heard weirder.

Congratulations Samuel pepys. You have the option of judging the next poetry contest. You can choose the format and theme. Let us know.

Brocklandia and Howard beale

«12. . .4,0334,0344,0354,0364,0374,0384,039. . .5,0515,052»

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