11
Dispatch → Factbook → Culture
by 
The Not Bad Nation of Mesvice.
.
114 reads.
TNPV LI : The Results!
official websiteThe crowd of thousands is watching in silence. Chad Chadley II and Stevie Sottings still haven't arrived. Meanwhile, all away across the country, sitting patiently in Lucaton Stadium...
Stevie Sottings: (stroking his cartoonishly long beard after waiting for a week) My goodness sir, when will the semifinals begin?
Chad Chadley II: (Also stroking his long beard) Well, my schedule says that the semifinals stage should be over by now... let me check it again on my phone.
Chad Chadley II pulls out his iPhone 2 from his beard.
Chad Chadley II: Aw man, it's out of battery. Wait, look Stevie! A messenger pigeon!
Some thoughtful TNPV official decided to send a messenger pigeon, and after two days of flying, it has finally reached Lucaton stadium, where the two are sitting. Stevie reads the small parchment while Chad Chadley strokes the tired pigeon.
Stevie Sottings: Sir, the grand finals are already starting in Mesvice City!
Chad Chadley II: WHAT!? This can't be happening! I already missed TNPV XLIII; I can't miss this one!
Stevie Sottings: There's no way we can make it across the country in time. The message says they'll get Nyar Nilsogg again to host, as well as Berto Sinpatton. Hey, he was in the movie series The Dusk Story! I love the movies!
Chad Chadley II: No Stevie, we must get to Mesvice City. We need to be there. For Mesvice. For the North Pacific. For the ENTIRETY OF THE PACIFICS!
Stevie Sottings: I don't mean to be the spoil sport, but we can't possibly get to the other side of Mesvice in less than an hour!
Chad Chadley II: (Smiling mischievously) Oh, I know how we can get there.
Later...
Chad Chadley II: And here it is!
Stevie Sottings: It's a... helicopter.
Chad Chadley II: Yes! In fact, this was the helicopter I was going to jump out of in TNPV XLIII! This was the stadium I was practising in!
Stevie Sottings: That's nice and all, sir, but a helicopter isn't fast enough!
Chad Chadley II: If this was a regular helicopter, yes, but this isn't one!
Stevie Sottings: Wha- what do you mean?
Chad Chadley II: See those rockets beside it?
Stevie Sottings: Please sir... you can't seriously...
It has been almost an hour since the dynamic duo were meant to arrive, so the TNPV officials from Ethnon, Ihese and Anne of Cleves in TNP are telling Nyar and Berto what to do.
Ihesian Official: Alright Berto, you just walk up and give a brief introduction, then we'll have the flag parade.
Berto Sinpatton: Alright... do I have to memorise anything?
Ihesian Official: Well, you're meant to have a script prepared, but Chad Chadley II has a famous history of improvising on the spot... just don't overdo anything, capiche?
Nyar Nilsogg: Alright Berto, let's do thi- wait, what's that?
They all look up into the night sky. You can see a helicopter with giant trails of smoke behind. You can hear screaming from it.
Stevie Sottings: SIR! HOW ARE WE MEANT TO GET OFF?
Chad Chadley II: Shut up and jump when I tell you to. You have your parachute, right?
Stevie Sottings: WE HAD PARACHUTES?!
Chad Chadley II: Correct answer, we have none.
Stevie Sottings: WHAT!?
Chad Chadley II: Stevie, quiet! One the count of three, JUMP! One... two... THREE!
The duo jump off with no parachute. The whole stadium gasps. Many people look away, in fear of seeing a very tragic event.
Chad Chadley II: WE NEED TO FALL INTO THE RIVER!
However, due to the high speeds they are falling at, their bulged eardrums and the doppler affect effecting Chadley's speech, Stevie Sottings doesn't hear anything. So instead, Chad Chadley II grabs Stevie and directs themselves to the river. Now they can communicate with each other.
Stevie Sottings: SIR! WE CAN'T SURVIVE THIS, EVEN INTO WATER!
Chad Chadley II: RELAX! I HAVE A BACK-UP. WATCH THIS!
Chad Chadley II proceeds to pull out a secret pcoket parachute from his pocket. This doesn't curb their speed entirely, but enough so when they land into the river with a giant splash, they are relatively unharmed. Call it a deus ex machina, but I seriously can't remove the leader of Mesvice and his most trusted advisor, Stevie Sottings, just for this.
Chad Chadley II: (Absolutely wet, but as jovial as ever, walking out of the river) Whew! Thank god I decided to build a manmade river there! How are you, Stevie?
Stevie Sottings: (Following Chad out of the river) Get Berto to host with you, I need to recover...
Stevie Sottings faints as a huge crowd have decided to see what is going on.
Chad Chadley II: Please, no photos. Get me into the stadium, PRONTO!
A few minutes later, Chad Chadley II walks onto the stage, with Berto Sinpatton as Co-Host.
Chad Chadley II: Thank you all for being so patient! Stevie and I had a few difficulties getting here, and Stevie can't be here today, so please welcome the actor BERTO SINPATTON!
The crowd goes wild.
Chad Chadley II: Yes, the actor from the famed movie series The Dusk Story, as well as appearing in movies like The Flittermouse Guy, Hydration for Hyraxes, The Forgotten Town of A, Dogma and many more!
Berto Sinpatton: Yes, and please make sure you check out my movie that's coming out next year, Donald 18!
The crowd goes wild again for no reason, except that he is Berto Sinpatton. In particular, the Funlandians really cheer for Berto Sinpatton.
Chad Chadley II: Enough dawdling! Berto! Please do the honours!
Berto Sinpatton: Thank you Chad Chadley II! Without further ado, the FLAG PARADE!
The crowd goes hysterical. There will never be another event in Mesvicean history where the noise reaches the level of this. Thankfully, the stadium is so reinforced, it barely moves.
Chad Chadley II: We decided to make the flag parade more minimalistic, inspired off Ihese's TNPV before this. We tried to represent the flags by the colour of the text boxes, but it's rather subtle and nations change their flags all the time. So we would like some feedback on whether it should stay minimalistic, or we should return to our old designs.
Berto Sinpatton: Uhh... yeah. Please do, we'd appreciate it.
A man runs up to the stage and whispers something into both their ears.
Berto Sinpatton: The votes are in already?
Chad Chadley II: Neat! Let the machines do their work!
It takes roughly thirty seconds before another man hurries back onto the stage.
Chad Chadley II: Yes Ben? Ah, the votes are in? Good.
Berto Sinpatton: Alright, let's commence the ceremony!
From the VIP crowd, Stevie Sottings sighs in relief. TNPV LI is saved from Chad Chadley II's dad jokes once more.
Red nations mean they were disqualified.
12 points - Greater Portugaliza
10 points - Germanic Cat
8 points - TheLandOfFunFunFun
7 points - Free State of Wrangler Island
6 points - Luminerra
5 points - Petronellania
4 points - Animu Place
3 points - Marlducro
2 points - Izern
1 point - Ethnon
R1 - Wrangleria
R2 - Communist Beijing Must be China
R3 - Singaporen Empire
R4 - New Cordyceps
R5 - Rettverborg
12 points Mesvice
10 points Parouty
8 points TheLandofFunFunFun
7 points Singaporen Empire
6 points Germanic Cat
5 points Marlducro
4 points Greater Portugaliza
3 points - Jughru
2 points Free State Of Wrangler Island
1 point Radio of cousco
R1 - Ihese
R2 - Communist Beijing Must be China
R3 - Animu Place
R4 - Ethnon
R5 - Wrangleria
12 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
10 points Parouty
8 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
7 points Ihese
6 points Mesvice
5 points Germanic Cat
4 points Animu Place
3 points - New Cordyceps
2 points Petronellania
1 point Communist Beijing Must Be China
R1 - Singaporen Empire
R2 - Ethnon
R3 - Marlducro
R4 - Greater Portugaliza
R5 - Wrangleria
12 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
10 points Germanic Cat
8 points - Malducro
7 points Greater Portugaliza
6 points Bir Matras
5 points Mesvice
4 points Ihese
3 points - Animu Place
2 points Petronellania
1 point Ethnon
R1 - New Cordyceps
R2 - Free state of Wrangler Island
R3 - Izern
R4 - TheLandOfFunFunFun
R5 - Jughru
12 Points: TheLandOfFunFunFun
10 Points: Anne of Cleves in TNP
8 Points: Marlducro
7 Points: Ethnon
6 Points: Ihese
5 Points: Singaporen Empire
4 Points: Wrangleria
3 Points: Luminerra
2 Points: Animu Place
1 Point: Parouty
R1: Jughru
R2: New Cordyceps
R3: Greater Portugaliza
R4: Petronellania
R5: Izern
12 Points Mesvice
10 Points Parouty
8 Points Animu Place
7 Points Rettverborg
6 Points Ethnon
5 Points Anne of Cleves in TNP
4 Points Marlducro
3 Points Wrangleria
2 Points Name 0
1 Point Petronellania
R1: Luminerra
R2: Ihese
R3: New Cordyceps
R4: Izern
R5: Singaporen Empire
12 points Ihese
10 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
8 points Mesvice
7 points New Cordyceps
6 points Ethnon
5 points - Greater Portugaliza
4 points Animu Place
3 points - Sir Matras
2 points Luminerra
1 point Germanic Cat
R1 - Marlducro
R2 - Jughru
R3 - Name 0
R4 - Radio of cousco
R5 - Rettverborg
12 points Free State of Wrangler Island
10 points Singaporen Empire
8 points Luminerra
7 points Wrangleria
6 points Germanic Cat
5 points Radio of cousco
4 points Greater Portugaliza
3 points - Parouty
2 points Jughru
1 point Marlducro
R1 - Animu Place
R2 - Name 0 (WA account)
R3 - New Cordyceps
R4 - Ethnon
R5 - Bir Martras
12 points Wrangleria
10 points Communist Beijing Must be China
8 points Marlducro
7 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
6 points Ethnon
5 points Germanic Cat
4 points Rettverborg
3 points - New Cordyceps
2 points Singaporen Empire
1 point Greater Portugaliza
R1 - Free State Of Wrangler Island
R2 - Bir Matras
R3 - Name 0
R4 - Animu Place
R5 - TheLandOfFunFunFun
12 points Ihese
10 points Bir Matras
8 points Free State of Wrangler Island
7 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
6 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
5 points Name 0
4 points Rettverborg
3 points - Greater Portugaliza
2 points Izern
1 point Radio of cousco
R1 - Parouty
R2 - Mesvice
R3 - Luminerra
R4 - Petronellania
R5 - Wrangleria
12 points - Marlducro
10 points - Mesvice
8 points - Luminerra
7 points - Ihese
6 points - Petronellania
5 points - TheLandOfFunFunFun
4 points - Singaporen Empire
3 points - Free State Of Wrangler Island
2 points - Greater Portugaliza
1 point - New Cordyceps
R1 - Name 0
R2 - Animu Place
R3 - Jughru
R4 - Radio of cousco
R5 - Germanic Cat
12 points Radio of cousco
10 points Germanic Cat
8 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
7 points Singaporen Empire
6 points Jughru
5 points Marlducro
4 points Petronellania
3 points Mesvice
2 points Ihese
1 point Ethnon
R1 - New Cordyceps
R2 - Wrangleria
R3 - Izern
R4 - Anne of Cleves in TNP
R5 - Parouty
12 points Germanic Cat
10 points Izern
8 points Petronellania
7 points Communist Beijing Must be China
6 points Mesvice
5 points Luminerra
4 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
3 points - Wrangleria
2 points Greater Portugaliza
1 point TheLandOfFunFunFun
R1 - Parouty
R2 - Rettverborg
R3 - Marlducro
R4 - Ethnon
R5 - Bir Matras
12 points Singaporen Empire
10 points Mesvice
8 points Izern
7 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
6 points Free State Of Wrangler Island
5 points Rettverborg
4 points Jughru
3 points - Name 0
2 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
1 point Ihese
R1 - Communist Beijing Must be China
R2 - Luminerra
R3 - Marlducro
R4 - Petronellania
R5 - Parouty
12 points New Cordyceps
10 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
8 points Ihese
7 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
6 points Communist Beijing Must be China
5 points Animu Place
4 points Name 0
3 points - Mesvice
2 points Petronellania
1 point Ethnon
R1 - Greater Portugaliza
R2 - Singaporen Empire
R3 - Germanic Cat
R4 - Marlducro
R5 - Izern
12 Points - Ihese
10 Points - Mesvice
8 Points - Wrangler Island
7 Points - Greater Portugaliza
6 Points - Anne of Cleves
5 Points - Luminerra
4 Points - Singaporen Empire
3 Points - Ethnon
2 Points - Jughru
1 Point - Germanic Cat
R1 - Marlducro
R2 - Rettverborg
R3 - Petronellania
R4 - TheLandOfFunFunFun
R5 - New Cordyceps
12 points Bir Matras
10 points Radio of cousco
8 points Ethnon
7 points New Cordyceps
6 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
5 points Communist Beijing Must be China
4 points Animu Place
3 points - Mesvice
2 points Petronellania
1 point Greater Portugaliza
R1 - Name 0
R2 - Singaporen Empire
R3 - Rettverborg
R4 - Wrangleria
R5 - Ihese
12 points Parouty
10 points Luminerra
8 points Animu Place
7 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
6 points Izern
5 points Bir Matras
4 points Germanic Cat
3 points - Free State of Wrangler Island
2 points Name 0
1 point Marlducro
R1 - Rettverborg
R2 - Ethnon
R3 - New Cordyceps
R4 - Petronellania
R5 - Radio of Cousco
12 Points: Free State of Wrangler Island
10 Points: Rettverborg
8 Points: Mesvice
7 Points: Anne of Cleves in TNP
6 Points: Izern
5 Points: Ihese
4 Points: Petronellania
3 Points: TheLandOfFunFunFun
2 Points: Bir Matras
1 Point: Parouty
R1: Jughru
R2: Wrangleria
R3: Luminerra
R4: Communist Beijing must be China
R5: Marlducro
12 points TheLandOfFunFunFun
10 points Free State Of Wrangler Island
8 points Ihese
7 points Mesvice
6 points Ethnon
5 points Marlducro
4 points - Greater Portugaliza
3 points - Petronellania
2 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
1 point Animu Place
R1 - Singaporen Empire
R2 - Wrangleria
R3 - Communist Beijing Must be China
R4 - Bir Matras
R5 - Name 0
12 points Izern
10 points Greater Portugaliza
8 points Mesvice
7 points Rettverborg
6 points Ihese
5 points Wrangleria
4 points Germanic Cat
3 points - Ethnon
2 points Singaporen Empire
1 point Anne of Cleves in TNP
R1 - Parouty
R2 - New Cordyceps
R3 - Marlducro
R4 - TheLandOfFunFunFun
R5 - Luminerra
12 points Radio of cousco
10 points New Cordyceps
8 points Animu Place
7 points Ethnon
6 points Anne of Cleves in TNP
5 points Name 0
4 points Communist Beijing Must be China
3 points - Petronellania
2 points Ihese
1 point TheLandOfFunFunFun
R1 - Jughru
R2 - Wrangleria
R3 - Marlduco
R4 - Mesvice
R5 - Singaporen Empire
Berto Sinpatton: Now the moment you have all been waiting for! It's time for the RESULTS!
The crowd roars into applause. Chad Chadley II thinks he should invite Berto has second co-host next time Mesvice hosts.
Chad Chadley II: Unfortunately, Marlducro didn't vote.
The crowd of Marlducroans are silent in reflection. Many people clap out of respect
The crowd of Jughruans are disappointed but still clap. Everyone else claps respectfully as well.
The Name 0ians are a proud bunch, and cheer as if they won. Everyone else joins in (who wouldn't).
Berto Sinpatton: We have now reached the top 20!
The sizeable crowd of Wranglerians applaud with much happiness.
Rettverborg and 
Bir Matras!
Chad Chadley II: The reason why Bir Matras is ahead of Rettverborg is that when ties happen, who is ahead is determined by who received the most 12 pointers, and then 10 pointers if they have the same amount of 12 pointers, and so on. Bir Matras has one 12 pointer, whereas Rettverborg had none.
The decently big crowds of Rettverborgians and Bir Matrasians stand to celebrate with vigour.
The big crowd of Radio of couscoans cheer with much delight.
Petronellania, 
New Cordyceps and 
Izern!
The great crowds of Nellans, Brits and Izernians all stand up to cheer together. It's rare to have a three-way tie, so even though their scores were less than hoped, all three crowds have something to bond over.
The big crowd of Paroutyans all celebrate with much amusement. After all, the song Parouty submitted was The Duck Song.
The huge crowd of Luminerrans stand up to cheer and celebrate with joy in the air.
Berto Sinpatton: And with that, we have now reached the top 10!
The mammoth crowd weebs (that's their demonym) all stand up to cheer and clap. The hardcore weebs make weeb noises in celebration.
The vast crowd of Singaporeans cheer and stand up to do so.
Personal Note: Ethnon once again has supported me in every way possible! Without him, there still would've been semifinals, which would be a bit of a hassle (as pointed out by Ihese via Discord), as well as notifying me of some non-WA participants who needed to be checked up. Massive thanks to Ethnon for making this edition as smooth as possible!
The massive crowd of Ethnonians all stand up to celebrate with pride.
The humongous crowd of Portugalizans all celebrate and applaud with delight.
Free State Of Wrangler Island!
The great crowd of Wranglerians (not to be confused with Wranglerians, from Wrangleria) all stand up to cheer with jubilation. Some confused Wranglerians (not to be confused with Wranglerians, from Free State of Wrangler Island) join in on the fun as well.
Chad Chadley II: We have now reached the top five folks!
The gigantic crowd of Germanic Cats are jump up in joy, cheering loudly, enough to temporarily deafen some poor elderly people who were taking a stroll outside the stadium.
Personal Note: Thanks for being here, Ihese. Like Ethnon, you helped me out in everyway you could. Another massive thanks to you!
The grand crowd of Ihesians and everyone else all celebrate, clapping their hands together so loud, the elderly people in the old peoples' home nearby all get temporarilty deafened.
Personal Note: This is the last massive thanks, this time to 
Anne of Cleves in TNP! As my facilitator, it's almost obvious that they have been a massive help, like helping me set-up the schedule of this event (before it being shortened, of course.) Once again, a massive thanks to you!
Everyone stands up to cheer with much noise and clamor. Now regular people are starting to get deafened. The stadium stands firmly in place, not even budging.
Chad Chadley II: Here we are people! The top two!
Berto Sinpatton: If you were paying attention, the two nations left are 
TheLandOfFunFunFun and... 
Mesvice!
The crowd of Mesviceans goes wild.
Chad Chadley II: Woah! Don't cheer now!
Berto Sinpatton: So, who will come out on top? TheLandOfFunFunFun, with an impressive seven wins beforehand, their latest win from TNPV XlVII?
Chad Chadley II: Or would it be the host nation, Mesvice, with a respectable 4 wins beforehand, its latest win being the last edition, TNPV L.
Berto Sinpatton: Will California Gurls win?
Chad Chadley II: Or will Kung Fu Fighting prevail?
Berto Sinpatton: Katy Perry?
Chad Chadley II: Or Carl Douglas?
Berto Sinpatton: Let's see!
The crowd goes wild, deafening a sizeable portion of the people nearby. Luckily, each person was given emergency ear-plugs in case this happened. Unfortunately, some people didn't notice and now can't hear anything for a while.
Chad Chadley II: If they're second, then...
The crowd goes absolutely ballistic, especially the native Mesviceans, who start to crawl onto the stage and start parading Chad Chadley II. Some Funlandians have taken the opportunity to parade Berto Sinpatton around as well.
Chad Chadley II: Please, let go of me! Stop carrying me! Stop it! HELP!
The huge crowds take Chad Chadley II and Berto Sinpatton out of the stadium. Stevie Sottings hurries shortly after to rescue Chad Chadley II.
Sorry, but I don't know how to make a good scoreboard, so enjoy these screenshots of the Google Sheet I worked off of.
Huge thanks to Ihese,
Ethnon and Anne of Cleves in TNP for all aiding me in one way of the other. Thank you!Mesvice, Izern, TheLandOfFunFunFun, Petronellania, Anne of Cleves in TNP, Communist beijing must be china, Bir Matras, 
Greater Portugaliza, 
Animu Place, 
Wrangleria, Rettverborg, Free State Of Wrangler Island, 
Luminerra, 
Name 0, 
Radio of cousco, Ethnon, 
Singaporen Empire, New Cordyceps, 
Germanic Cat, 
Marlducro, 
Jughru and 
Parouty
