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Dispatch → Bulletin → News
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The Yours Sincerely of Atolls of Scodalek.
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WHATS NEWS! 1
STATEMENT OF THE WEEK: "It’s News! And we print News!"BREAKING NEWS
The National Guard has been mobilised after reports of a 6 year old lost girl at Great Scott Mall. The youngster was last seen at the food court. Capt. Nicholas Wait spoke to us briefly before leading the search "The child has most likely headed towards Eye Candy store or Ttocs Toys. Our search will split into two teams. First team searching the Food court proceeding south to the candy store. Second team will be rushed to Ttocs Toys and start searching the girl’s dolls section.
TOP NEWS STORY
Huge Outcry as Religious Organisations are now required to pay income tax with new laws coming into effect today by the SDC. Father Runamuck in an interview with Listen2me stated "Many Religions will be relocating to a more friendly and understanding nation rather than stay in Atolls of Scodalek ".
OTHER STORY
Snotty Nose Dolphin is one of the most popular forenames in Atolls of Scodalek according to a recent study conducted by Professors at Ttocs University. Professor Stewart Walker released the findings today with 18% of the 1000 citizen’s surveyed opting for Snotty Nose Dolphin. Unsurprisingly number one forename is still named after our glorious leader with 71% of the study result.
SPORT NEWS
Hansoff Deball was crowned the winner of the Sheep Stations Invitational Golf Tournament this weekend held at Prices High County Club. Mr Deball won the tournament by two shots on the final hole over nearest competitor Chandler Grim. However the event was marred once again by violence from competing players which overshadowed the whole tournament for the third year running. This year’s argument according to players and official’s was in regards to “Winter Rules” being overused by certain players with regards to “Moving the ball from dark shadow areas of the course”
WEATHER
Warm and hazy, Late Thunderstorms
17-34 degrees
88% chance of rainfall
Winds ENE 12km
