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by The Confederacy of Louisianan. . 17 reads.

The Kantucket Gazette Issue IX




November 21, 2020 ISSUE IX $1.50


Issue VIII


Low Rate of Readers

Welcome to the Ninth Issue of the Kantucket Gazette, lately, for the past few issues, we've been experiencing a low amount of readers, we started the paper and for the first few issues we had from 20-29 readers, slowly that went down to yesterdays 5 readers. We understand that the recent influx in new Newspapers may be the cause, but as we have said, our newspaper is not trying to compete with other newspapers, we are here, for the people to read. Why other papers are trying to take our viewers we don't know.

The paper will be here for those who want to read it, and we suggest that you continue to read it to make sure our efforts are appreciated.

Trade Dealings with Regmotto?

Lately, it has been obvious that some of our ministers have been speaking with Regmotto about a trade package, but was this with or without the presidents permission. WITHOUT. The president said to us earlier this morning, that no trade deal would be made unless it benefitted our allies as well as us, this could be viewed as globalist ideologies, this could have been a slip up, but it has been undetermined at this time whether he meant what he was saying or not.

Colorful Countries of Capitalism

Welcome Everyone to The Colorful Countries of Capitalism!

Good Morning! Today, we're going to be sitting sipping our coffee and discussing the Puffin Islands, they are with us in a defensive pact, and I think it is important for the Louisianan people to know who they are. The Puffin Islands is a cultured nation, ruled by King Hunter the First. The Puffin Islands have an amazing economy and a very small Poor to Wealthy ratio, with the wealthiest only earning about 2 times as much as the poorest.

Their government spends the most money in Defense, Industry, and Healthcare. Their capital is the coastside city of South Port. The average income tax rate is 58.6%, and raises the wealthier you get..

They use Puffels as their currency and 1 Puffel is equal to about 75 dollars for us. They are a wonderful country with wonderful cultures!

Healthy Habits for Happy Housewives! And Daily News

Eating Habits By: Cetty Brocker

This is coming from your favorite housewife! Cetty Brocker, let me tell you about myself! I am a housewife of 23 years, I pride myself in being the best chef in Bienville. I cook traditional Cajun recipes in a traditional Cajun way! We don't use any type of Tofu here and if I find you using it, I'll barbeque you slowly in Molasses! Today, after the police found my cookbook in Alice Landry's home, we will be cooking, homemade red beans and rice. Very good to boost your butt, and heal any cut! Just eaaaaaaat it up and you'll be fine!

    Ingredients
  • 1 pound dry kidney beans

  • ¼ cup olive oil

  • 1 large onion, chopped

  • 1 green bell pepper, chopped

  • 2 tablespoons minced garlic

  • 2 stalks celery, chopped

  • 6 cups water

  • 2 bay leaves

  • ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme

  • ¼ teaspoon dried sage

  • 1 tablespoon dried parsley

  • 1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning

  • 1 pound andouille sausage, sliced

  • 4 cups water

  • 2 cups long grain white rice

Rinse beans, and then soak in a large pot of water overnight.

In a skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Cook onion, bell pepper, garlic, and celery in olive oil for 3 to 4 minutes.

Rinse beans, and transfer to a large pot with 6 cups water. Stir cooked vegetables into beans. Season with bay leaves, cayenne pepper, thyme, sage, parsley, and Cajun seasoning. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 2 1/2 hours.

Stir sausage into beans, and continue to simmer for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare the rice. In a saucepan, bring water and rice to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes. Serve beans over steamed white rice.

Thank you for reading this recipe today! This was Cetty Brocker from Bienville!
Couponing Habits with Ms. Alice Landry

Due to my arrest and incarceration there won't be a coupon section today.

L'état d'aujourd'hui!

Bienvenue dans l'état actuel, nous avons de grandes nouvelles pour vous. Il y a une chance que notre pays tente de rejoindre l'UTF, notre gouvernement n'a actuellement aucun plan fixe, mais tout est sur la table. Nous sommes actuellement isolés sur notre petite partie du monde avec personne ici pour nous causer des problèmes ou nous déranger, donc rejoindre une organisation mondiale peut être un peu au-delà de nos capacités actuelles. Quoi qu'il en soit, c'est l'état actuel, revenez la prochaine fois!

Article by : Francoise Marceaux

Interview with Alice Landry from Jail

Lessaint Guidry (Journalist): Welcome Ms. Landry, we are glad to have you here.

Alice: It sure beats yard time.

Lessaint Guidry: I bet! First question, what are you in the pen for?

Alice: Well, first of all, it's ALLEGED and ALLEGEDLY, I broke into Cetty Brockers home and ALLEGEDLY stole her cookbook and ALLEGEDLY tried to sell it.

Lessaint Guidry: Ok, what do you plan on pleaing?

Alice: Not guilty of course! I'm not guilty, I didn't use a crowbar to break open a window and get inside.

The system is rigged if they get me in prison, RIGGED, I say.

Lessaint Guidry: Hmmm, who said anything about a crowbar or a window?

Alice: Oh wait, thats what ALLEGEDLY happened.

I don't like this interview anymore.

Lessaint Guidry: Does your lawyer think you can win the case?

Alice: Of course he does, what type o'lawyer would he be if he didn't?

Lessaint Guidry: So, do you agree with him?

Alice: Of course, I've done nothing wrong!

I don't care what that foo foo Cetty Brocker says. She probably cooked my cat!

Lessaint Guidry: That's about all the time we have, any other comments?

Alice: Listen, President Broussard, I need a pardon, I need your help! Free Alice "Exotic" Landry!

Lessaint Guidry: Thank you for answering my questions.

Interview Conducted By: Lessiant Guidry


Publisher = Jaques Bourdeaux

Professional Interviewer = Lessiant Guidry

Writer = Cetty Brocker

Writer = Allice Landry

Writer = Francoise Marceaux


Any and all Conch Kindgom nations can contribute advertisements or write to our writers or our Publisher or our President by popping a Telegram to Louisianan

The Kantucket Gazette is in NO WAY a competitor to the Conch Times

The Kantucket Gazette used the format of the Conch Times to make the newspaper more accessible to all members of Conch Kingdom

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