by Max Barry

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Loons, Buffoons, and the Looney Toons

151

EPIC CARDS

Compulsory Consumerist State
“Who watches the watchmen?”
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 95thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 136thHighest Disposable Incomes: 156th
23.5b10,757t
SEASON TWO

ULTRA-RARE CARDS

Authoritarian Democracy
“Justice, Honour, Truth, and Virtue”
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 605thMost Influential: 772ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 999th
18.5b1,678t
SEASON TWO
Left-wing Utopia
“ooooooh!! i didn't know you cared...!”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 324thMost Stationary: 656thMost Influential: 674th
34.2b1,469t
SEASON TWO
Democratic Socialists
“Keeping Q102 Officially Mad”
Most Stationary: 263rdLargest Welfare Programs: 819thLargest Populations: 1,238th
32.1b2,533t
SEASON TWO
Moralistic Democracy
“You stupid boy!”
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 178thSafest: 534thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 607th
24.8b3,905t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Hon Hon Baguettes and Snails!”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 8thMost Influential: 86thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 6,199th
10.7b641t
SEASON TWO
Psychotic Dictatorship
“All Hail The Magic Conch”
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 145thMost Ignorant Citizens: 311thMost Devout: 319th
7.89b1,718t
SEASON TWO
Father Knows Best State
“Duh”
Most Subsidized Industry: 448thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 765thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 961st
8.29b1,717t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Welcome to paradise city.”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 61st Largest Mining Sector: 86th Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 88th
5.251 billion Repressed Fools. Flagrant waste-dumping, keen interest in outer space, and complete lack of prisons.
SEASON ONE
Anarchy
“Give Your Best Shot!”
Largest Gambling Industry: 571st Rudest Citizens: 580th Highest Crime Rates: 752nd
4.784 billion Dummieans. Vat-grown people, flagrant waste-dumping, and enslaved workforce.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Whatever happens, happens”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 296thMost Secular: 323rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 445th
6.42b1,590t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“May The Pacific prevail!”
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 568thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 964thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,125th
4.63b1,511t
SEASON TWO
Anarchy
“Golden Eggs in the nest, Luxuries for the rest.”
Rudest Citizens: 505thLargest Retail Industry: 988thMost Armed: 1,610th
2.67b650t
SEASON TWO

RARE CARDS

Civil Rights Lovefest
“Be happy, or not...whatever”
Largest Publishing Industry: 505thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,084thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,546th
20.9b3,191t
Left-Leaning College State
“Mmmmmm....beer”
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,453rdLargest Populations: 1,816thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,016th
29.8b2,922t
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Open the damn door, Red! Are your brains in your butt?”
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,713thLargest Black Market: 3,673rdLargest Populations: 5,805th
19.6b2,082t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Messing With NSers Since 2004”
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5,649th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 7,244th Most Rebellious Youth: 7,694th
10.555 billion Jokesters. Smutty television, zero percent divorce rate, and restrictive gun laws.
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Messing With NSers Since 2004”
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,922ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 7,027thMost Rebellious Youth: 7,049th
12.5b905t
Tyranny by Majority
“Nope, nope, nope.”
Largest Populations: 491stLargest Black Market: 11,500thMost Stationary: 14,538th
35.3b835t
SEASON TWO
Anarchy
“Veritas Et Ratio”
Most Stationary: 288thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,224thLargest Populations: 1,447th
31.3b4,107t
SEASON TWO
Left-wing Utopia
“Watergate! Watergate! Watergate! Watergate! Watergate!”
Largest Populations: 502ndMost Stationary: 1,147thMost Income Equality: 3,448th
35.3b358t
SEASON TWO
Authoritarian Democracy
“Nonne stultam fecit Deus sapientiam hujus mundi?”
Most Primitive: 94th Most Ignorant Citizens: 204th Most Devout: 228th
10.064 billion Morons. Zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Looloolooloolooloolooloolooloolooloo”
Most Stationary: 5,216thMost Ignorant Citizens: 11,066thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,613th
12.1b517t
SEASON TWO
Corporate Police State
“Even madder than a hatter...”
Most Stationary: 5,554thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,696thMost Influential: 10,274th
11.7b590t
SEASON TWO
Father Knows Best State
“We're not dead, we're stunned!”
Largest Gambling Industry: 1,509thLargest Black Market: 3,480thHighest Crime Rates: 4,496th
11.4b1,025t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Culture is the people.”
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,062ndMost Cultured: 3,353rdMost Pacifist: 4,377th
7.15b1,144t
SEASON TWO
New York Times Democracy
“Fly Free”
Largest Information Technology Sector: 950thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,004thRudest Citizens: 1,216th
6.94b1,549t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“NERDS!”
Most Conservative: 2,864thMost Ignorant Citizens: 5,776thMost Authoritarian: 9,311th
5.96b255t
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“D'oh!”
Most Secular: 186thLargest Information Technology Sector: 289thMost Scientifically Advanced: 351st
5.41b1,485t
SEASON TWO
Psychotic Dictatorship
“LODS OF EMONE”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 631stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 669thMost Primitive: 771st
3.67b717t
SEASON TWO
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