by Max Barry

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Me. Yes, me. The biggest douchebag of them all.

10

LEGENDARY CARDS

Anarchy
“Home of Big Tex!”
NewTexas was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 131
Most Stationary: 1st Most Efficient Economies: 15th Most Influential: 34th
34.743 billion NewTexans. Deadly medical pandemics, public floggings, and frequent executions.
SEASON ONE
Democratic Socialists
“Libertate, aequalitatem, fraternitatis”
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 63rd Safest: 70th Largest Agricultural Sector: 100th
30.094 billion Kundanese. Ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Compulsory Consumerist State
“Ne invoces expellere non possis”
Highest Economic Output: 205th Highest Disposable Incomes: 336th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 390th
33.172 billion Sentient Peoplesians. Barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and spontaneously combusting cars.
SEASON ONE
Left-wing Utopia
“Will class angle for labour vouchers”
Editor
Most Inclusive: 234th Highest Poor Incomes: 308th Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 309th
7.976 billion Caracasusians. Complete lack of prisons, rampant corporate plagiarism, and pith helmet sales.
SEASON ONE

EPIC CARDS

Anarchy
“Greatness, Power, and Authority! All Hail, Drakonia!”
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 115thRudest Citizens: 125thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 141st
26.4b10,491t
SEASON TWO
Anarchy
“Legalize and enjoy”
Most Efficient Economies: 56th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 330th Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 385th
15.479 billion Weedians. Smutty television, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete lack of public education.
SEASON ONE
Civil Rights Lovefest
“...”
Largest Publishing Industry: 501stMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,185thLargest Populations: 2,339th
27.7b3,697t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Where's my wallet?”
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd Most Cultured: 20th Healthiest Citizens: 35th
22.712 billion Smilers. Free-roaming dinosaurs, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws.
SEASON ONE
Compulsory Consumerist State
“The People Rule.”
Most Armed: 250th Highest Crime Rates: 292nd Fattest Citizens: 299th
16.062 billion Kapitalists. Rum-swilling pirates, vat-grown people, and complete lack of prisons.
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
“Even the stones are moved”
Most Cheerful Citizens: 59th Most Cultured: 65th Most Pacifist: 75th
17.218 billion Senshuans. Museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation.
SEASON ONE
Liberal Democratic Socialists
“All Your Base Are Belong To Us!”
Largest Welfare Programs: 39thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 59thMost Advanced Public Education: 81st
28.4b6,798t
SEASON TWO
Left-wing Utopia
“I didn't agree to be a trading card”
Most Advanced Public Education: 21stLeast Corrupt Governments: 33rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 49th
21.0b6,536t
SEASON TWO
Democratic Socialists
“To Inspire Conservation Of The Oceans”
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th Most Developed: 10th Most Advanced Public Education: 15th
18.277 billion Monterey Bay Aquarists. Public floggings, national health service, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
Corrupt Dictatorship
“Death To All Not Of Macfora”
Largest Agricultural Sector: 6thLargest Publishing Industry: 28thMost Cultured: 85th
29.8b10,417t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Why are you reading this ?”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 5th Most Influential: 62nd Most Stationary: 13,980th
11.012 billion Gladiators. Museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates.
SEASON ONE
Democratic Socialists
“The Doctor is In!”
Largest Welfare Programs: 178th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 528th Best Weather: 772nd
31.572 billion Gallafreyians. Anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and restrictive gun laws.
SEASON ONE
Capitalist Paradise
“He who slings mud generally loses ground.”
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 408th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 460th Highest Economic Output: 590th
31.132 billion Athanians. Smutty television, unlimited-speed roads, and daily referendums.
SEASON ONE
Compulsory Consumerist State
“Capital of Silcon Valley”
Most Subsidized Industry: 54thMost Advanced Public Education: 114thLargest Black Market: 122nd
15.0b8,324t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Hear our Evil, See our Evil, Speak only of our Evil”
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 24th Largest Manufacturing Sector: 24th
10.745 billion minions. Avowedly heterosexual populace, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete absence of social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Left-Leaning College State
“Vote early, vote often”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd Most Influential: 40th Most Inclusive: 14,587th
6.511 billion wraiths. Rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies.
SEASON ONE
Capitalizt
“This is a sad day... we will miss you Grub!”
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 231stLargest Retail Industry: 335thRudest Citizens: 417th
6.84b2,221t
SEASON TWO

ULTRA-RARE CARDS

Mother Knows Best State
“Our conquest is assured!”
Most Efficient Economies: 299th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 619th Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 853rd
15.563 billion Aaronians. Zero percent divorce rate, prohibition of alcohol, and avant-garde cinema.
Anarchy
“It's a fiendish thingy!”
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 304th Most Efficient Economies: 366th Largest Populations: 432nd
33.511 billion Terra Amoreans. Museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and daily referendums.
SEASON ONE
Democratic Socialists
“Something insightful I'll think of later”
Most Efficient Economies: 493rd Safest: 878th Largest Agricultural Sector: 1,033rd
14.641 billion Constannians. National health service, prohibition of alcohol, and sprawling nuclear power plants.
SEASON ONE
Father Knows Best State
“Space-wizards and Rock&Roll. (Air-guitar solo)”
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 140thLargest Black Market: 145thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 222nd
23.3b7,866t
SEASON TWO
Corporate Police State
“Oderint, dum metuant!”
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 147thLargest Insurance Industry: 161stMost Ignorant Citizens: 449th
27.4b6,253t
SEASON TWO
Liberal Democratic Socialists
“Same As It Ever Was”
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 415th Best Weather: 498th Most Cheerful Citizens: 506th
23.937 billion Trolls. Multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ban on automobiles, and restrictive gun laws.
SEASON ONE
New York Times Democracy
“I've never met a rule I couldn't get around.”
Most Advanced Public Education: 414th Most Pacifist: 527th Nicest Citizens: 691st
17.258 billion Vorkosigans. Daily referendums, unlimited-speed roads, and smutty television.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Strength in present through the lesson of the past.”
Most Influential: 401stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 401stMost Stationary: 431st
34.6b7,875t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“I'M TRAPPED IN A QUOTE FACTORY, SEND HELP!”
Largest Mining Sector: 44th Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 317th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 349th
26.494 billion Arkmamians. Museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and strictly enforced bedtime.
SEASON ONE
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