The Socialist Federal Republic of Zepstovia is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and smutty television. The compassionate population of 1.074 billion Zepstovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valigrad. The average income tax rate is 67.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Zepstovian economy, worth 96.6 trillion Zepstovian Dinars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 89,924 Zepstovian Dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religion is strictly forbidden within school grounds, animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs, ersatz chicken has left the nation's citizens with a bad taste in their mouths, and people unhook their phones at night to escape a never-ending barrage of phone calls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zepstovia's national animal is the wildcat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zepstovia is ranked 259,608^th in the world and 932^nd in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -131.87 on the Scary Big Number Scale.