The Republic of Walloonia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Pierce with a fair hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 14.334 billion Walloonians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aberystwyth. The average income tax rate is 77.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Walloonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,363 trillion ceiniogs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,093 ceiniogs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", bad punctuation has come to a full stop, money can't buy love but mercy is entirely negotiable, and television characters who ask how someone's doing are charged with harassment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Walloonia's national animal is the dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Brythonic paganism.

Walloonia is ranked 289,894^th in the world and 4,628^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -230.04 on the Scary Big Number Scale.