The Confederation of Vlakistonia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Commandant VX III with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, pith helmet sales, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.348 billion Vlakistonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crasnychok. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Vlakistonian economy, worth a remarkable 5,514 trillion Petro-vyes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 413,102 Petro-vyes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vlakistonians caught jaywalking often have their houses seized by the police, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, the nation is automatically assumed to be the source of all unmarked weapons, and a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vlakistonia's national animal is the Koala, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Conservative Eugenicism.

Vlakistonia is ranked 2,483^rd in the world and 39^th in Europe for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 19,146.74 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.