The Imperium of Velon is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by SQUEE with a fair hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 42.38 billion velonians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small government is dominated by the Department of Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of poopopolis. The average income tax rate is 9.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient velonian economy, worth an astonishing 10,255 trillion donut holes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 241,997 donut holes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Jail house rock has been replaced with jail house golden oldies, the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, Party members are derided as class traitors, and traffic cops spend most of their work-hours calculating citizens' monthly income. Crime is totally unknown. Velon's national animal is the piggus chonkus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Velon is ranked 286^th in the world and 25^th in The North Pacific for Most Pacifist, with 288.22 cheeks turned per day.