The Red Bearcatish Kinric of Valoptia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Æschere Frost with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.842 billion Valoptians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Valoptian economy, worth a remarkable 3,305 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 565,838 pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,049,888 per year while the poor average 111,353, a ratio of 18.4 to 1.

Doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion, talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, the government props up questionable pizza establishments in the name of health, and diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valoptia's national animal is the red panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Gnosticism.

Valoptia is ranked 504^th in the world and 1^st in Lair of the Dragon for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 30,614.46 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.