The Confederacy of United Celtics is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Patrick Pearse with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, parental licensing program, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.377 billion United Celticsians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Administration, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Patrick. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 62.2%.

The frighteningly efficient United Celticsian economy, worth 335 trillion Celtic crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 141,168 Celtic crowns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 551,215 per year while the poor average 24,659, a ratio of 22.4 to 1.

Evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes, and major cities run on potato batteries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Celtics's national animal is the Wild boar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Celtic Christianity.

United Celtics is ranked 9,865^th in the world and 29^th in United Kingdom for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 7,159.83 on the Hickory Productivity Index.