The Colony of Timkins is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its punitive income tax rates and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 20.577 billion Timkinsians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 67.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Timkinsian economy, worth 51.9 trillion Coins a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Cheese Exports industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 2,519 Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, Timkins has designated Timkins City as its capital city, and Leader has just been declared ruler of Timkins in an international press conference. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Timkins's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Timkins is ranked 118,633^rd in the world and 1,195^th in Artificial Solar System for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.