The Federal Republic of The United Pitcairn Islands is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Charlene Warren-Peu with an even hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, strictly enforced bedtime, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 6.323 billion United Pitcairn Islanders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Adamstown. The average income tax rate is 28.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong United Pitcairn Islander economy, worth 535 trillion Pitcairn Islands Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 84,703 Pitcairn Islands Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers, United Pitcairn Islanders are wondering where have all the flowers gone, defense lawyers often argue there's no proof murder victims weren't vampires, and kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The United Pitcairn Islands's national animal is the Henderson Crake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

The United Pitcairn Islands is ranked 4,442^nd in the world and 10^th in Faraway for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.98 law-abiding acts per hour.