The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with a fair hand, and renowned for its digital currency, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 18.712 billion Salaxians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 4,632 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 247,567 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mandatory updates on software drivers often bring life to a halt, Salaxians submit requests for a date in writing with an enclosed RSVP card, there's an aura of pseudoscience around academia, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 239,872^nd in the world and 257^th in Spiritus for Rudest Citizens, with 5.72 Insults Per Minute.