The Kingdom of The Land Untainted is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King Crackerjack with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, state-planned economy, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.306 billion Toilers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 36.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Land Untaintedian economy, worth 112 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 85,831 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Sociologists ponder how baby-napped ethnic minority 'runaways' could have gone so bad so soon, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, and Bambi has been banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. The Land Untainted's national animal is the lamb, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Soil.

The Land Untainted is ranked 305,340^th in the world and 706^th in Concord for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 42.61 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.