by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 243rdMost Devout: 361st
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Free Joy State

Population13.403 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, avowedly heterosexual populace, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.403 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,310 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 247,012 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,124,160 per year while the poor average 33,180, a ratio of 33.9 to 1.

People who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, school uniforms are compulsory, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks, and the giant 80-storey carving of Exalted Holiness in Mount Rushless can be seen from space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 1,302nd in the world and 34th in the Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 304.01 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 243rdMost Devout: 361stMost Primitive: 412thLargest Insurance Industry: 596thLargest Mining Sector: 896thLargest Black Market: 984thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,302ndFattest Citizens: 1,394thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,418thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,437thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,445thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,480thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,617thMost Avoided: 1,799thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,292ndTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,445thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,466thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,665thHighest Average Incomes: 3,749thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,380thHighest Economic Output: 4,423rdMost Conservative: 4,794thMost Patriotic: 5,508thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,855thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,895thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,777thLowest Crime Rates: 13,062ndLargest Governments: 13,160thMost Influential: 13,201stMost Efficient Economies: 13,329thMost Authoritarian: 13,468thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20,990thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 21,846thLargest Populations: 22,073rd
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Primitive: 13th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 16th in the regionMost Devout: 19th in the regionLargest Black Market: 24th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 29th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 31st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 34th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 39th in the regionMost Avoided: 40th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 42nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 44th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 54th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 56th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 59th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 63rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 81st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 88th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 98th in the regionLargest Populations: 111th in the regionMost Patriotic: 162nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 193rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 201st in the regionMost Influential: 212th in the regionMost Conservative: 222nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 230th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 285th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 302nd in the regionLargest Governments: 331st in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 345th in the regionMost Stationary: 410th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 562nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 599th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 648th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the giant 80-storey carving of Exalted Holiness in Mount Rushless can be seen from space.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, school uniforms are compulsory.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, it is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter.

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