by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 248thMost Devout: 367th
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Free Joy State

Population12.604 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, infamous sell-swords, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.604 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,075 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 244,035 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 971,782 per year while the poor average 41,279, a ratio of 23.5 to 1.

There's no such thing as a safe bet, conflicted Free Joyish mamas cry 'cause - if there's one thing they don't need - it's another hungry mouth to feed, children get arrested for floating paper boats on lakes, and real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 47,456th in the world and 989th in the Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 72.03 Insults Per Minute.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 248thMost Devout: 367thMost Primitive: 401stLargest Insurance Industry: 725thLargest Black Market: 892ndLargest Mining Sector: 897thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,161stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,315thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,335thMost Avoided: 1,373rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,376thFattest Citizens: 1,383rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,804thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,988thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,257thTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,419thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,465thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,728thHighest Average Incomes: 3,767thMost Conservative: 4,488thHighest Economic Output: 4,649thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,173rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,819thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,851stTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 12,364thLowest Crime Rates: 12,784thMost Efficient Economies: 12,789thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,225thLargest Governments: 13,624thMost Influential: 14,046thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 19,625thLargest Populations: 22,849th
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Primitive: 14th in the regionMost Devout: 17th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 21st in the regionLargest Black Market: 23rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 28th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 28th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 29th in the regionMost Avoided: 34th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 41st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 41st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 42nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 46th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 48th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 57th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 64th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 64th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 65th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 96th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 98th in the regionLargest Populations: 113th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 182nd in the regionMost Conservative: 192nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 205th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 211th in the regionMost Influential: 216th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 261st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 301st in the regionTop
10%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 323rd in the regionLargest Governments: 354th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 355th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 491st in the regionMost Stationary: 517th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 602nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, children get arrested for floating paper boats on lakes.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, conflicted Free Joyish mamas cry 'cause - if there's one thing they don't need - it's another hungry mouth to feed.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector and the Top 5% for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, there's no such thing as a safe bet.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Exalted Holiness wears an armoured gauntlet.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the word 'elite' appears as a synonym for various insults in the Free Joyish Colonial Thesaurus.

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