The Process State of The Albertan Empire is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Terminal 6A with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 37.686 billion Human Resources are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bunker 3432. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Empirean economy, worth an astonishing 11,177 trillion Canadian Tire Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 296,597 Canadian Tire Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,937,731 per year while the poor average 17,904, a ratio of 108 to 1.

Flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, indigenous tribal elders can be recognised by their designer watches and expensive suits, the government's policy is 'all pain, no grain', and posters encourage people to "Just Do It!". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. The Albertan Empire's national animal is the Prairie Oyster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Terminal Maximus.

The Albertan Empire is ranked 78,124^th in the world and 15^th in Eladen for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.82 law-abiding acts per hour.