The Unified Resistance of Tesseris is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Grandmaster Cirilio with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.535 billion Tesserisians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Erebus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Tesserisian economy, worth 245 trillion Chrysós a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 160,081 Chrysós, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 845,926 per year while the poor average 16,087, a ratio of 52.6 to 1.

Troop transports blacken the sky as the military commences Operation Desert Ocean, the nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and "To Hell or to Marshland" is a common settler cry directed at native Brasilistanis. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tesseris's national animal is the Four-Headed Serpent Divine Warbeast, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Misotheism.

Tesseris is ranked 49,786^th in the world and 1^st in Kosmos Choris Dakrya for Largest Governments, scoring 22.47 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.