The State of Telgan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Mustapha Mond with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 23.837 billion Telganites hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Airstip One. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Telganian economy, worth a remarkable 4,300 trillion De Beers Diamonds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 180,422 De Beers Diamonds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It turns out you can teach cats new tricks, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps, and animal control is going door-to-door releasing all pets back into the wild. Crime is totally unknown. Telgan's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Telgan is ranked 1,464^th in the world and 2^nd in Philosophers for Most Beautiful Environments, with 4,159.68 pounds of wildlife per square mile.