The Theocracy of Staircasevania is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, soft-spoken computers, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.484 billion Staircasevanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 28.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Staircasevanian economy, worth 190 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 128,319 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists, judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend, both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, and fur coats have become the latest fashion trend. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Staircasevania's national animal is the sheep, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Staircasevania is ranked 37,600^th in the world and 1,919^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 106.5 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.