The Holy Empire of Some cows is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Cow with an iron fist, and notable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.57 billion cows are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Some cows City. The average income tax rate is 26.6%.

The powerhouse cow economy, worth 148 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,414 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Retail stores offer sales every hour on the hour, the government has implemented minimum wage laws, tuxedo rental companies are inexplicably going out of business, and Cow wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Some cows's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Some cows is ranked 91,343^rd in the world and 6^th in Friendly Pacifists for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.39 law-abiding acts per hour.