The Republic of Salcanceasy is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working population of 6.907 billion Salcanceasyians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.3%.

The powerhouse Salcanceasyian economy, worth 518 trillion Koins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is 75,046 Koins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 265,639 per year while the poor average 15,307, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

The military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", the state is footing the bill for billionaires' lawyers, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, and artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Salcanceasy's national animal is the Gyrfalcon, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Salcanceasy is ranked 53,337^th in the world and 46^th in Commonwealth of Sovereign States for Most Primitive, scoring 53.85 on the Scary Big Number Scale.