The Democratic Republic of Putzilvania is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Schmendick Johnson with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.594 billion Putzilvanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Magrittemore. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Putzilvanian economy, worth 645 trillion filthy-lucres a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,557 filthy-lucres, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An aboriginal talking stick is used for leaders' debates at election time, a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate, customs officers pretend not to hear shouts of "HELP LET ME OUT!" emerging from diplomatic bags, and the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Magrittemore. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Putzilvania's national animal is the Big-Headed Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Neutrality.

Putzilvania is ranked 325,839^th in the world and 5,569^th in The North Pacific for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -18.28 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.