The Borderlands of Primitiv is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its public floggings, feral children, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 428 million Primitives are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Environment, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Big Cave. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.2%.

The strong Primitivian economy, worth 16.5 trillion shiny rocks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Soda Sales, Basket Weaving, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 38,455 shiny rocks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 117,675 per year while the poor average 9,733, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

The intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network, grandparents tell young ones tales of the good old days when people had cake on their birthday, toddler groups have taken over local libraries, and most pop videos prominently feature the Primitivian flag. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Primitiv's national animal is the monke, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Primitiv is ranked 51,689^th in the world and 59^th in Concord for Most Patriotic, with 32.73 flags saluted per person per day.