The Republic of Portsville is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 12.047 billion Portsvillans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Portsvillean economy, worth a remarkable 3,263 trillion gold bars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 270,877 gold bars, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, citizens have to dodge their neighbors' drones while getting the morning paper, and the nation's hospitals are criticized for caring more about profits than patients. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Portsville's national animal is the cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Nothing.

Portsville is ranked 2,359^th in the world and 111^th in Lazarus for Largest Governments, scoring 53.08 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.