The Biohazard of Pathetic Puddle is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The Sludge Lord with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, parental licensing program, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.857 billion Parasites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Gunkton. The average income tax rate is 68.8%.

The Sludge economy, worth 176 trillion Water Droplets a year, is quite specialized and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 45,879 Water Droplets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Angry men scowl at each other across chess boards, traffic tickets are punishable by 9000 push-ups, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", and billions of Water Droplets are being poured into a space program. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pathetic Puddle's national animal is the Microbe, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Molecular Hivemind.

Pathetic Puddle is ranked 104,983^rd in the world and 5^th in Murkton for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.29 law-abiding acts per hour.