The Islands and Homeland of Patche is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its daily referendums, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.62 billion Patcheans are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kunrea. The average income tax rate is 22.6%.

The very strong Patchean economy, worth 117 trillion Belors a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 72,564 Belors, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, the average cargo freighter spends more than half its service life undergoing safety inspections, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', and relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Patche's national animal is the Bienvinue Bird, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Patche is ranked 214,548^th in the world and 9,959^th in Balder for Most Pacifist, with 42.79 cheeks turned per day.