The Primera Republica of Pachaenito is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Benito Merani with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working population of 2.877 billion Pachaenitenses have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ette-Terase. The average income tax rate is 9.6%.

The very strong Pachaenitoan economy, worth 190 trillion Pacha-Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 66,306 Pacha-Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

More than one company makes the board game Monopoly, every fourth child is born with flippers instead of hands, Jennifer Government is banned, and military barracks resemble five-star hotels. Crime is relatively low. Pachaenito's national animal is the Hornero, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Happy and not Sanginary Christianism.

Pachaenito is ranked 261,412^th in the world and 12^th in The Allied Republics for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -4.9 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.