The Democratic Republic of Old Freezer is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, infamous sell-swords, and clockwork self-driving vehicles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.991 billion Old Freezerians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Freezerian economy, worth 541 trillion hryvnias a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 135,573 hryvnias, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 455,011 per year while the poor average 29,977, a ratio of 15.2 to 1.

The nation's air defense strategy is two-dimensional, populations of two-headed tapirs have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites, unshaven men are viewed with suspicion in courts of law, and citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Freezer's national animal is the tapir, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Old Freezer is ranked 36,504^th in the world and 57^th in Varas Opener Sanctuary for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 3,816.19 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.