The Republic of Noristoniaka is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ivan Talvenpoigu with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 8.966 billion Karjalans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Petroskoi. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Karelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,909 trillion rublas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 212,937 rublas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins, reams of paperwork signed in triplicate have taken the magic out of magic, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and it's always rabbit season. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noristoniaka's national animal is the eider, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Noristoniaka is ranked 3,091^st in the world and 57^th in Europe for Largest Governments, scoring 49.45 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.