The Duchy of Nolgonia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Duke of Bamburgh with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 9.207 billion Nolgans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bamburgh-sur-Rom. The average income tax rate is 83.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nolgonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,022 trillion Nolcoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 111,050 Nolcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is giving peace a chance, tourists visit Nolgonia to mass-moon Nolgonian politicians, cops in Bamburgh-sur-Rom spend much of their time napping on a park bench next to Embassy Row, and commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nolgonia's national animal is the Common fallow deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mindfulness.

Nolgonia is ranked 21,207^th in the world and 215^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.73 law-abiding acts per hour.