The Republic of Nocciola is a massive, socially progressive nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 1.015 billion Nocciolans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gattina. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Nocciolan economy, worth 89.8 trillion noccios a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. Average income is 88,447 noccios, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers, and the nation is so apathetic that Nocciolans can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government. Crime is totally unknown. Nocciola's national animal is the cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nocciola is ranked 239,011^th in the world and 827^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -100 on the Scary Big Number Scale.