The Commonwealth of New Sitkopolis is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Vlamadir Putine with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 1.157 billion New Sitkopolisians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NewPiernotopia. The average income tax rate is 89.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Sitkopolisian economy, worth 145 trillion Piernobucks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 125,347 Piernobucks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Becoming a missionary is a sure-fire route to martyrdom, prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, ceremonial zweihänders are used in holy rituals, and the military has gone fission for more funding. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Sitkopolis's national animal is the Three Toed Sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sitkosism.

New Sitkopolis is ranked 7,886^th in the world and 330^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 3,678.6 on the Societal Mobility Rating.