The Commonwealth of New Lakemba is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Committee with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.067 billion New Lakembans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Canberra. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient New Lakemban economy, worth a remarkable 3,749 trillion New Lakembian Standard Kebabs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 286,960 New Lakembian Standard Kebabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Thieves find battery shops juicier targets than banks, public parks are littered with cigarette butts, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment, and modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes. Crime is totally unknown. New Lakemba's national animal is the Animal Kingdom, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Lakemba is ranked 245,904^th in the world and 9,449^th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 3.62 Whatever.