The Romanyan Principality of Montcrabe is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Zinedine Monscrabel with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, otherworldly petting zoo, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.11 billion Montcrabins are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Montcrabe City. The average income tax rate is 47.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Montcrabean economy, worth 604 trillion crabinars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 194,266 crabinars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink, whenever pilots have to bail out the government bails out their company, a driving license is obtained not by passing a test but by passing a brown envelope, and creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Montcrabe's national animal is the crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Montcrabin Catholicism.

Montcrabe is ranked 29,599^th in the world and 79^th in The League for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.97 law-abiding acts per hour.