The United States of Midlands is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, complete lack of prisons, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 47.935 billion Midlandsians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Midlandsian economy, worth an astonishing 40,882 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 852,876 sand dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,980,862 per year while the poor average 41,583, a ratio of 143 to 1.

One-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses, 'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office, luxury brands target their advertising at the unemployed and homeless, and soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Midlands's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Midlands is ranked 315,594^th in the world and 817^th in NationStates for Most Patriotic, with 0.23 flags saluted per person per day.