The Socialist Republic of Longdendale is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Longdendale Bauheim with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, free-roaming dinosaurs, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.951 billion Longdendaleans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tintwistle. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Longdendalean economy, worth a remarkable 2,576 trillion Bottle Caps a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 151,971 Bottle Caps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Agriculture is heavily subsidized by the government, the hardest thing for a mining operation to dig through is government red tape, toast never burns but always has a weird chemical taste, and the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longdendale's national animal is the Death Claw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spud.

Longdendale is ranked 3,253^rd in the world and 6^th in United Kingdom for Most Patriotic, with 94.27 flags saluted per person per day.