by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,344thBest Weather: 1,638thLowest Crime Rates: 1,913th
The Galactic Empire of
Father Knows Best State
We will rock you
General Sebastian Bohnhead
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kohnhead

Population4.465 billion

CapitalKohnhead City
LeaderGeneral Sebastian Bohnhead
FaithKohnheadism

CurrencyKohnheada
AnimalPanda

The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.465 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 645 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 144,572 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, and personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 9,872nd in the world and 164th in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 10,899.61 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,344thBest Weather: 1,638thLowest Crime Rates: 1,913thTop
5%
Safest: 2,781stHealthiest Citizens: 3,042ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,179thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,297thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,587thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,041stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,367thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,557thLargest Governments: 4,757thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,864thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,892ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,937thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,485thNicest Citizens: 6,049thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,345thMost Pacifist: 6,727thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,150thMost Developed: 8,284thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,705thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,840thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,872ndMost Corrupt Governments: 9,973rdTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12,580thMost Inclusive: 14,980thHighest Average Incomes: 15,318thSmartest Citizens: 17,842ndMost Efficient Economies: 19,060thMost Secular: 19,114thMost Influential: 19,987thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,325thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,764th
Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 19th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 31st in the regionBest Weather: 37th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 50th in the regionSafest: 50th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 53rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 62nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 64th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 66th in the regionLargest Governments: 67th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 68th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 69th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 72nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 73rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 76th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 83rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 93rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 99th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 101st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 114th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kohnhead lodged a message on the 10000 Islands Regional Message Board.
  • : Kohnhead published "10000 Islands' Featured Nation 22/2/21 - Porflox" (Bulletin: News).
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnheadians seem to be catching more chills.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnhead recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, acrimonious legal battles result during divorce proceedings.

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