The Great Crackerish Republic of Kakastania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by High Priest Kendall III with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, disturbing lack of elderly people, and exploding hoverboards. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.742 billion Crackers are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krackee. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Crackerish economy, worth a remarkable 1,627 trillion slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Trout Farming, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 241,331 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,724,897 per year while the poor average 11,045, a ratio of 156 to 1.

The nation is cleaning up after a national night of celebration left most people with headaches and dim memories (Kakastania has found 5 easter eggs), High Priest Kendall III has decreed that one must think of cheese upon reading the word mouse (Kakastania has found 5 easter eggs), political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, and the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kakastania's national animal is the Crackerish Heron, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Crackerism.

Kakastania is ranked 315,118^th in the world and 325^th in The Wellspring for Safest, scoring 3.67 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.