The Colony of Joiklandia is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 2.626 billion Joiklandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 78.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Joiklandian economy, worth 11.8 trillion we dont need monies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 4,497 we dont need monies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Girls in elementary school classes gaze longingly at boys playing tag, signs stating "You Must be This Tall to Enter" have started appearing outside retirement homes, it takes months to get the proper permits for a child's first tricycle, and pro-wrestling bouts open with a legal disclaimer insisting that any violence is guaranteed 100% faked. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Joiklandia's national animal is the Dodo Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Joiklandia is ranked 327,251^st in the world and 4,745^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 305.27 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.