by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 4,238thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,486thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,311th
The Grand Duchy of
Moralistic Democracy
God comes first, all else secondary
Grand Duke Dominicus
Influence
Apprentice
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Some

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Jalamania

Population7.059 billion

CapitalPort Desmi
LeaderGrand Duke Dominicus
FaithHeavenly Exaltation

CurrencyReal
AnimalGolden Eagle

The Grand Duchy of Jalamania is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Grand Duke Dominicus with an even hand, and remarkable for its digital currency, frequent executions, and infamous sell-swords. The cheerful population of 7.059 billion Jalamanians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Desmi. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jalamanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,159 trillion Reais a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 164,299 Reais, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Most households' childcare costs are higher than their mortgage payments, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent, monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends, and many mayors are barely in office before being kicked out for minor parking violations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jalamania's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Heavenly Exaltation.

Jalamania is ranked 235,196th in the world and 9th in Brannackia for Most Armed, with 0.15 Weapons Per Person.

Top
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 4,238thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,486thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,311thHealthiest Citizens: 5,372ndMost Developed: 5,546thLargest Governments: 5,926thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,981stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,491stHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,564thBest Weather: 7,677thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,846thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,619thSmartest Citizens: 8,649thMost Cultured: 8,686thMost Beautiful Environments: 9,006thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,082ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,182ndMost Efficient Economies: 9,223rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,061stMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,195thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,532ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,043rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,213thHighest Average Incomes: 11,457thTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 12,943rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,069thLargest Welfare Programs: 13,182ndMost Inclusive: 14,427thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,938thHighest Economic Output: 15,811thMost Valuable International Artwork: 16,335thLargest Agricultural Sector: 17,903rdNicest Citizens: 21,760th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Jalamania voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Honeydewistania".
  • : Jalamania voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Voting Equality for Freed Inmates"".
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, many mayors are barely in office before being kicked out for minor parking violations.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, most households' childcare costs are higher than their mortgage payments.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election".
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, Grand Duke Dominicus's Dreadnought-class tankbuster limousine is said to have more ammunition than the entire Brancalandian Army.
  • : Following new legislation in Jalamania, voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot.

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