by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 157thHighest Crime Rates: 191stMost Armed: 196th
The Long Distance Callers of
Capitalist Paradise
And the silence makes me lonely
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Honeydewistania

Population7.157 billion

Capitalthe Supermarket
LeaderPrime Minister Marcel Fraser
Faithrabid consumerism

Currencytea coupon
Animalbottle

The Long Distance Callers of Honeydewistania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Marcel Fraser with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.157 billion Honeydewistanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the Supermarket. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Honeydewistanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,909 trillion tea coupons a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 266,771 tea coupons, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,996,312 per year while the poor average 10,352, a ratio of 192 to 1.

Formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming, morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom, major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings, and possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Honeydewistania's national animal is the bottle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is rabid consumerism.

Honeydewistania is ranked 236,445th in the world and 8,439th in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 2.68 Cheeks Turned Per Day.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 157thHighest Crime Rates: 191stMost Armed: 196thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 210thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 244thFattest Citizens: 289thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 321stLargest Gambling Industry: 329thMost Valuable International Artwork: 332ndMost Avoided: 340thRudest Citizens: 417thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 507thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 536thMost Ignorant Citizens: 565thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 710thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 719thMost Secular: 763rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 881stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,070thMost Efficient Economies: 1,114thLargest Mining Sector: 1,360thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,398thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,405thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,534thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,598thTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 2,904thLargest Insurance Industry: 3,442ndMost Subsidized Industry: 3,821stLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,047thNudest: 4,998thHighest Economic Output: 8,508thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,375thTop
10%
Most Influential: 13,979thLargest Black Market: 15,920thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 21,853rdHighest Drug Use: 22,066th
Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 7th in the regionMost Armed: 7th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 11th in the regionFattest Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12th in the regionMost Avoided: 15th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 16th in the regionRudest Citizens: 17th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 26th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 31st in the regionMost Secular: 31st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 31st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 35th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 36th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 43rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 47th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 61st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 67th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 69th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 77th in the regionTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 88th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 90th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 152nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 156th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 198th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 200th in the regionNudest: 224th in the regionMost Influential: 385th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 407th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 448th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 491st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, disaster victims are viewed with disdain.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, hammering a nail into a wall is an effective death sentence.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television.
  • : Following new legislation in Honeydewistania, education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?".

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