The Republic of Hippopotomonstroses is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its frequent executions, ritual sacrifices, and compulsory military service. The devout population of 357 million Hipponians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polano. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 43.4%.

The Hipponian economy, worth 18.8 trillion Hippos a year, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 52,680 Hippos, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

The "give and take" of international diplomacy often happens at gunpoint, Hippopotomonstroses has designated Polano as its capital city, mountain rescuers refer to their new gear as the 'watchamacallits' and 'thingymabobs', and the government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hippopotomonstroses's national animal is the Hippos.

Hippopotomonstroses is ranked 18,251^st in the world and 22^nd in Blue Ridge for Most Pacifist, with 119.6 cheeks turned per day.