The United Lesbian States of Greater New Orleans is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Empress Ashley with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.759 billion Orleanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sakura City of Phoenix. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Orleanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,225 trillion North Star Yen a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 257,534 North Star Yen, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, women across the country are tying the knot, surfers ride tsunamis of record height and toxicity, and after every storm there's an expensive government-funded rainbow. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater New Orleans's national animal is the Cherry Phoenix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orleanian Christianity.

Greater New Orleans is ranked 106,078^th in the world and 35^th in Avaldonia for Most Authoritarian, with 919.87 milliStalins.