The Confederate technocracy of Great United Columbia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Monika Habsburg with an even hand, and remarkable for its digital currency, daily referendums, and public floggings. The hard-nosed population of 5.559 billion Columbions are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celeste mountain. The average income tax rate is 70.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Columbion economy, worth a remarkable 1,055 trillion Natridiniums a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,889 Natridiniums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, romantic sunsets are no longer interrupted by explosions and monstrous roars, Empress Monika Habsburg shrugs in the face of growing inequalities, and national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Great United Columbia's national animal is the Whale, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Great United Columbia is ranked 17,629^th in the world and 6^th in Arctica for Most Patriotic, with 54.9 flags saluted per person per day.