The Dictatorship of Goulagistannie is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by The Great Goulagist with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.597 billion Goulagistannieans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Goulag. The average income tax rate is 69.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Goulagistanniean economy, worth 654 trillion Goulagstanniean dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 182,079 Goulagstanniean dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public executions just aren't the cheery spectacles they once were, citizens can freely debate whether The Great Goulagist is a great leader or the greatest leader, fake beard sales are on the rise amongst female commuters, and teach an angler how to phish and he can make a living. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Goulagistannie's national animal is the citizen, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is None.

Goulagistannie is ranked 5,926^th in the world and 11^th in Chicken overlords for Most Authoritarian, with 6,750.05 milliStalins.